(Okay, so...first post! I have that urge to just spew out my entire life's story in one go, but I'll resist. I think I'll just go over the purpose of this blog, what I plan to talk about, etc. so here goes!)
I have Misophonia. It's a disorder in which certain "trigger" sounds that would be normal to most people are intolerable. I'm not talking about pet peeve level intolerance. It's a visceral, fight-or-flight type of response. There are different degrees of severity, but it ranges from a feeling of anger and an urge to get away, to physical responses, mimicking of the trigger sounds and more. If you've never heard of it, I encourage you to do your own research as there is a lot of info out there that I don't want to just plop down in this post.
I've had this disorder since middle school, so that's 10 plus years living with this. It has made school very difficult to get through, as my first trigger sounds, which I still have, were any sounds related to paper. Turning pages, creasing and folding, and rubbing paper- to me these sounds are like nails on a chalkboard. Just typing this, my body physically responds and the hairs on my arms stand on end.
When I started college, things started to get even more difficult. I started to realize that this disorder isn't going to go away- that this is my life. My first reaction has been to reject this notion, and then a lot of anger. I have heard it said that accepting this disorder is essentially a grieving process. It's like the expectations I had for the life I could have without the disorder are dying and I don't want to let them go.
Thanks for reading and I hope you stick around.