Thursday, April 21, 2016

I Have Misophonia.

 

  (Okay, so...first post! I have that urge to just spew out my entire life's story in one go, but I'll resist. I think I'll just go over the purpose of this blog, what I plan to talk about, etc. so here goes!)

     I have Misophonia. It's a disorder in which certain "trigger" sounds that would be normal to most people are intolerable. I'm not talking about pet peeve level intolerance. It's a visceral, fight-or-flight type of response. There are different degrees of severity, but it ranges from a feeling of anger and an urge to get away, to physical responses, mimicking of the trigger sounds and more. If you've never heard of it, I encourage you to do your own research as there is a lot of info out there that I don't want to just plop down in this post.
      I've had this disorder since middle school, so that's 10 plus years living with this. It has made school very difficult to get through, as my first trigger sounds, which I still have, were any sounds related to paper. Turning pages, creasing and folding, and rubbing paper- to me these sounds are like nails on a chalkboard. Just typing this, my body physically responds and the hairs on my arms stand on end.

     When I started college, things started to get even more difficult. I started to realize that this disorder isn't going to go away- that this is my life. My first reaction has been to reject this notion, and then a lot of anger. I have heard it said that accepting this disorder is essentially a grieving process. It's like the expectations I had for the life I could have without the disorder are dying and I don't want to let them go.

     Even in the recent past I have felt utterly hopeless. But I am trying to achieve a better outlook and take charge of my life- I'm trying to create a lifestyle for myself where I can more easily manage the symptoms of Misophonia. Some days are great, and some are frustrating and full of tears. I'm not there yet, or even close. But I have hope that even if this isn't the life I want, or would ever have chosen, it can still be a great life. I'm creating this blog to share my progress, spread awareness, and talk about any solutions or things that effect my life and symptoms - the good and the bad!

Thanks for reading and I hope you stick around.

Kaitlyn

3 comments:

  1. Welcome to the blogosphere! Thanks for sharing your journey. I've added you to my list of Misophonia Blogs.

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    1. Thank you for the welcome! I already have more posted queued up, I'm just trying to decide how frequently to post :)

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  2. Thank you, Katie, for writing this blog!! First of all, you are a wonderful writer. Second of all, there are many parents like me who have a child with some sort of sound sensitivity (misophonia, hyperacusis, 4S - Sudden Soft Sound Syndrome, sensory processing disorder, etc.). Many of our children have a hard time articulating what a trigger feels like to them. Some of them get severely triggered at school but freeze up and then release at home. Hearing from you helps us non-miso types and it helps those who have to live with this condition. Together we can learn better coping skills and avoid those techniques that cause more harm than good. Keep up the good work! We are so proud of you!

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